Tuesday, June 09, 2009

of FEAR and LoVE, part 01

fear, balance and happiness

wanting to write this for years, in one guise or another; personally I think this subject is really interesting and exciting, the real plague of humanity ...not swine flu

...it is, as it will be.

It is not meant to offend but rather offers a personal viewpoint which may be of sufficient difference to warrant existence. I am not a “writer” in fact cannot write for “$#!*”, and hardly try, however stigma associated with presenting deeply personal work without excessive writing skill or technical ability should not perhaps preclude pleasure of storytelling nor sharing of experience and joy. I write as I speak (the origin of which is another thing entirely), from time to time cannot help but fabricate words or place them purposefully, there will possibly be spelling mistakes and it is based solely on actual personal experience; like talking in pixels could only be ...imperfect.

...for it is through imperfection that we glimpse perfection; and in imperfection I am certainly qualified, as are we all; think chaos theory and Mandelbrot sets...

Ultimately fear2love is not meant as refuge for salvation, nor is it consciously designed as such. It is merely a need to express, joy and understanding, through personal journey and is perhaps a reflection of universal consciousness. It asks questions continually as do I and if same questions challenge then all the better to have duality of function outwardly while journeying. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion; here’s mine :)

...”I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello”

Something has plagued me, my entire life, currently inescapable and is subconsciously / consciously driving fear2love. For an eternity it seems my bullshit detector mechanism has been going off tap. Over the last forty years or so it’s been subdued or turned off a couple of times due to periods of conformity and once upon a time, with insufficient information on which to base definite conclusion, pathways of life through a civilised system seemed worthy of attention; however it has never been what it purported, and I feel it may stem from this.

Rollup, Rollup, ...Rollup for the Magical Mystery Tour

There is mass false projection of security and happiness afflicting civilisation, stemming from lack of any “real” practical, physical spiritual human experience or awareness of self and is what I would call a form of delusion. It afflicts most if not all of us to some extent yet only one spiritual epiphany (certainly not hard to come by with an open mind) is required to change ...everything; however epiphany is but trigger and in actuality introspection which yields this conclusion for it is with introspection that we see with unity, taking into consideration the whole.

Once realised fully we see this type of apparition pertains to the intellectual formation and creation of justifiable reality which provides realistically illogical (if taken in complete context), yet secure reasoning framework for the supposed individual despite in most cases, contra-example all around.

...it’s an alternative to the acceptance of reality in holistic terms but rather selection of neat portion which can be made to fit a position of what could be called, non-responsibility.

To give brief but perhaps potent example, of why I feel reality is not concerned with current reasoning; it is common to feel we live in a system where there is balance of love and fear ...when 80% of the people on the earth live on less than $10 per day and we are interlinked economically; or that simple things such as warmth, shelter, food, etc. are all we need to thrive as humans irrespective that a cave is still a cave, deer skin still deer skin and warmth an open fire in middle of cave.

...our logic is fraught with hypocrisy

These notions appear irrespective that we’ve had these things forever yet more importantly that we still allow people to starve to death and enslave for less than a dollar per day in support what must be manufactured and secure world views. Is it not the case that simple things are all we need to “exist” ...not to thrive? One could argue; “doesn’t thriving involve more ...involve love, in the most positive sense of the use?” Or do we assume this construct to be ...love? Pretend?

Perhaps there are two types of thriving, that of fear and that of love; but the question then becomes ...are we thriving in fear, developing ever new means of adjustment? For myself, in this journey, it has I suppose come down to this; responsibility and holistic thinking.

...as I feel “all” traditional explanation for misery breaks down personally when taken holistically.

Doesn’t it strike anyone else? ...it’s all wrong? That for centuries, thousands of years we’ve been making excuses? That some are fabulously brilliant, persuasive, pervasive; but that if nothing changes, and people still starve ...they are ALL excuses? Perhaps every single answer yielded which does nothing, is indicative of a system so flawed that scrapping and starting over is actually the only option?

From a personal perspective I’ve witnessed these type of rationalisations proliferate, saturate mans thinking and are what I call, justifications for inaction ...intellectual, mental excuses. Part of the mind gymnastics we undergo to prevent insanity in a world gone wrong...a blinders on position. The validation to the self of this kind of logic is invaluable in the short term as coping mechanism however self, it is becoming more and more evident, is part of a greater whole and to truly grow and move forwards as a species I think we must learn acceptance and awareness of “ourselves”. How else do we sit unaware that...it’s actually “us”, not “them”?

...certainly one could diagnose me dreamer or even insane using standards formed of this delusional methodology and again I could affirm, my imagination is rife and encouraged ...yet I would ask, “do we? continually dream? ...that one day this system of fear will work?” and is this ...“insane”?

and ask, what do we really have again, that’s different now? If everything is taken into context, out of the personal bubble of feigned happiness, we can begin to see differently. We can see that this delusional thinking is currently the only means by which current civilisation could function and still maintain levels of absurd economic difference and suffering on local or continental let alone global scale.

Pondering the issue concludes that accepting responsibility for ones actions holistically can overcome this form of thinking and therefore has potential to affect real change for the betterment of all mankind (sexist terminology aside) ...not just me, I or you ...but “us”, the whole of “us”. Fact is, if actually given illumination for any length of time one arrives at a point of reflection so powerful that willingness to yield material wealth, no longer incomprehensible in fact becomes requirement to some degree for reconnection and thus fear of same is abolished.

...then I ask myself ...”what do we cling to in support of this misery and suffering?

Do we have protection? and then, protection from what? Love or fear? HEEEEE!!! Not afraid to seek answers within, needing protection from no one but myself...the acknowledgment and practice thereof seldom harms ...anymore, for I too have suffered, did or still do, from this delusion.

That there is balance I feel, is perception, (unless balance for us presently involves “extreme unbalance” as forced learning tool which ties exactly the concept I attempt impart) but from where do these perception stem? TV? Mainstream media? Corporations? Group think?

...everyone their hands in the pie? ...pretending they are the only ones?

Is this reality also balanced? Conglomerate effect of which is astonishingly destructive (think globally) and that intellectualised world views which reflect governmental or traditional opinion do nothing in fact to help the state of affairs in any way, shape or form ...or cannot seem to affect real change despite any amount of effort involved. This form of rationalising appears only to justify misery from a perspective of safety and security. Often the justification goes, “it’s mans’ nature” ...yet I disagree strongly, which we’ll get to soon enough (Futurama: “that’s not soon enough”).

So I ask ...”what does this really tell us?” That we are still afraid to move from the security of the pack on some ultra brainwashed level? ...for fear? ...of what? ...us? ourselves? Do we imagine in every horror our own perpetration? ...do we accept this as ability? still? ...and should we? is that really why there is no change? marching steadily onwards in blind, deluded oblivion having made the entire picture so clouded that most cling to propaganda of artificial security than reality? hiding from ourselves?

...have we become so afraid of one bad apple ...that we all went bad?

Note: this next bit came to me in another weirdly informative epiphany long ago, actual experience of which will be the subject of a future post.

...given enough time, anyone could justify anything, but some things are more obvious than others (mass misery and suffering for instance ...empathy?)

Is it true empathy, based on compassion, that we use to form these more global rationalisations? or falsehood of neglectful, deceitful thinking?

Positive connotation theory: Justifications or beliefs systems reinforcing illusory notions that civilisation is somehow balanced, can I concluded, be easily divided into two distinct categories and used as guide for action and realisation of potential effect. Those which have a positive connotation and that of negative, which serve no real purpose other than to defeat and become merely words or action, regardless of shape or splendour. Anything one does, says or thinks of positive connotation which serves to let us value and grow as humans should be encouraged, should it not?

...is slyness stated by fanciful means still slyness?

I think it depends on connotation. Using connotation one can easily visualise a line extending out from a centre point in both directions, endlessly. Extreme positive one side, negative the other. I reason we can/could put “all” argument aside if we look at connotation and effect as measured against inherent cultural values rather than language which always appears to get lost in power struggle and matters of right or wrong ...everything.

The two most base values we all appear to espouse and share as civilisation, can be found throughout history in writings and media of all kinds and are essentially that, “we don’t like killing or war” and “like love and peace”. So I figure a reasonable rationalisation could therefore be based on these two global assumptions; killing war bad, happiness and peace good.

Note: An important consideration, perhaps difference of using this particular personal model; there is no individual rationalisation whatsoever given to death, rather all generic human death or suffering is treated in same fashion whereby no one is more important than another. Rationale to the contrary soon breaks down as taking this particular mental stance allows contemplation of others; which is key to this ideology and understanding “self” as a whole.

Connotative range reflections can be used pro-actively aiding real formation of values as results on the scale yield from different perspectives taken, however could also be used post-action to determine future paths and evaluate past events. With limited view, unless total independence from the system was achieved, one could never conclude a sincerely holistic outcome on a connotative level unless attempt was made to venture further afield in consideration.

...which is what it’s all about, connecting dots, recognition that we are indeed living examples, each of us ...of the butterfly effect.

Actual statistics whereby something like 5% of the population possess 95% of the material wealth? What the? Personally I think we need to stop, take a step back, think, redistribute wealth of the 5% minority, consider environmental issues, bring everyone else up to speed, form legislation so it can’t happen again ...then proceed forwards, making provision for native inhabitants and those wishing to lead a more natural and basic lifestyle. No one should be left behind due to fear and greed. Yet time and time again when seeking answers to the questions of “why so many have to die or suffer” am constantly reaffirmed in one fashion or another, “no it has to be ...because, because, because, because... ”it has to be” ...why???

and hence nothing, despite ANY amount of intellect or argument, changes ...BLAHH!

Think of where on that line the last thing you said or did lay. There is no true middle point, it’s either good or bad, make a decision. Now consider everything around you, the entire universe, every other person on the planet, every plant and animal. Does the value change or ...could it? It’s simultaneously easy and not so easy to do, if consideration just for one second that no suffering is worth “anything we have”.

If not sufficient answers to formulate this expression, then why? Innocent, day to day employment becomes much more than blameless when considered that it’s actually supporting a system other countries depend on and could be contributing to the misery of others.

Connotation and effect represent possibility, probability and actuality. For connotation measurement to work in earnest an equalizing mental overlay must be utilised that involves three primary perspectives which are: a.) no one is more important than another b.)no death or suffering worth anything we have c.) we are potentially personally responsible for misery, death and suffering of others through action without adequate true knowledge.

Where does any given action lie then on that scale of connotation? I think it becomes an extremely more complicated decision realising independent research is required rather than group consensus and that indeed group consensus merely provides superficial inhibitor. Even buying milk using this form of thinking can be a thought provoking experience ...however it’s not about being more confounded, it’s about being true to our nature, ourselves and the actuality of existence, seeing where and how we actually fit in and affect others.

...what is the connotation of any given action? Positive or negative? do the results change with more information in the mix?

For instance ...why should we fear and attempt to control kindness from others? fear? but do we know in the moment? or in hindsight? ...or never? the true reasoning for “our” actions? and can hindsight be that easily accepted when once the walls of this perception are systematically taken apart it crumbles, never able reassembly ...ever?

...does it ultimately remind and fail the illusion we create that “everything is ok”? Are we creating one as we read this? Does reading it reinforce or repel?

The question of balance often enters the equation, it’s main purpose using delusional methodology, a reinforcement of physical inaction and secure mental foundation. For what else does it do?

and what of literature and art? or philosophy and ethics? in terms of balance? ...in a nine to five world? Would we want to squeeze out those “thinking” or creating amongst us and is part of the reason these fractures of reality exist that, there time is not afforded the process? Not thinking, researching potential conflict with lifestyle or seeking answers within despite two thousand years or so of thought on the subject being available?

When afforded the time to think humanity does but when not afforded that time...what then? What then is our intellectual wonder actually touting? Re-hashed sameness?

..which actually defines and alters, nothing?

Entertained and constrained constantly in a system designed and pushed by those with most economical advantage, I ask, “are those pushing this unrealistic balance accommodated by having, or not having?” Aware of their holistic, “actual” actions (we all “know”)? Are they the few with economic certainty? flaunting such promise? One in six people without access to safe, clean drinking water? ...yet at the simplest of level we buy bottled water and carbonated beverages without a second thought for “where” the water comes from? Then I ask again, “is this part of the balance?”

Correspondingly there’s a worldwide water crisis, how does this fit? equilibrium? A minuscule amount of research is all required to reason bottled water must be a contributing factor yet is there any responsibility taken by the end user? Or do we, once atrocity discovered...blame production entirely for the misfortune of others and let denial reign?

...it’s a personal opinion but for me, only thing that makes warmth, shelter and food worth having in the long run ...is love, and as much I love nature, it’s half the experience, the other half is people and warmth afforded by friendship, kindness and novelty.

What we choose to believe, i.e. difference between the safe reality presented to us by governments corporations and planted (non moving) individuals versus the frightening reality a little independent research obtains of this world are enormous to say the least however this type of information or thinking should not promote fear but understanding and awareness, so “real” choice and opinion can facilitate.

The ultimate example of “why” love can’t work proliferating universal consciousness; the biggest justification for inaction among the species for me, that I’ve heard, is conceptually that “civilisation could not exist without war and violence”...that, it’s our nature, that altruism does not exist and that ...“nobody does nothing for nothing”. All suspiciously interlinked and seeming excuse for every misdemeanour on the planet.

However yet again this concept for me appears but mass delusion and serves only to keep fearful bottoms on couches, reality and proof of sorts is easily obtained (now) through documentaries like “THE LOST PYRAMIDS OF CARAL” and other sources. Mystery of the very first civilisation ever and how it all began has tormented archaeologists, philosophers and scientists for hundreds of years, most common thought amongst them being “war” was necessitation for civilisation...until recent times.

Caral, Peru - 2600BC: the first ever civilisation, the oldest known, which lasted a thousand years ...was built on peace, trade, insecurity and love rather than war, trade, certainty and fear. No weapons of any type, no fortifications ...no protection of any kind?

...what then does that say about fear and this delusion I refer to?

Transcript: (end of documentary)

Narrator:

  • “Caral changes all our current thinking about the origins of civilisation”
  • Because it seems that five thousand years ago, they had no need for warfare.
  • Caral enjoyed a peace that lasted nearly a millennium.
  • An achievement unmatched in the modern world.”

Scientist:

  • “That’s a period of a thousand years of peace”

Archaeologist:

  • “I can’t have a thousand years of peace if warfare’s natural to human beings.
  • Warfare is “part” of human nature.
  • You don’t get a millennium of no war”

Narrator:

  • “Perhaps that is Caral’s real legacy.
  • Human civilisation was not born in bloodshed and battle.
  • Warfare was a later part of the human story.
  • Great things “can” come from peace”.

...first we have to look but does delusion prevent this also? ...of course it does.

Fact is (I feel), we do have innate goodness of character and soul but have twisted a world view to fit our own self deceit ...due to fear which is foundation for greed and desire for power. Civilisation was not inevitable. For over 100,000 years there were neither rulers nor cities. So how did it all start? Answer is ...it started with love and happiness ...and shock, horror ...drugs!!!

No wonder drugs are illegal; ponder seriously, in this context. Wouldn’t want a peaceful, happy civilisation would we? Thriving on? Love? Would love really prevent naturally occurring psychoactive plants from being consumed across the planet? Or has fear? On that level, what right does government, any government, institution or organisation have to ban any substance not unequivocally proven beyond doubt to be detrimental and nothing to do with them personally? Especially from native groups who have been taking these substances for centuries or thousands of years? What excuse did we come up with? ...just then? Those with the thirst of space shuttle could perhaps not be satisfied so easily if love reigned is my answer. Caral to me represents a proof of sorts that we are indeed endowed with an innate goodness and that perhaps we should consider differently.

It seems the very first evidence of civilisation, running over one of the longest civilised periods in the history of man ... was founded on unfortified, peace, trade, insecurity and would you believe drugs; rather than war, security and fear as we would like to and have been led to believe. Why is it again that we need to believe this though? Why do we fear concepts of altruism so greatly? ...fear of?

If sparked to attempt, for one second, that which formal education cannot ...and feel with “real” love and compassion not this “pretend love” which is actually “the myth of love” ...we see clearly there is no balance. That in fact balance is swayed ultimately to greed and power from fear. Fear of the unknown? Fear of being hungry? Fear of “swine flu”? Fear of getting fat, fear of not receiving love or of never having it, of eating wrong, of getting cancer or crusty teeth, fear of losing work and of sexual impotence. Fear of being maltreated by governments and corporations, fear of mental illness, of not being attractive, impressive or articulate, fear of drugs and of taking the wrong one or too many. Fear of death, of life, fear of each other, of being shot, wounded, stabbed or rapped ...fear of reality? Reality therefore a fear?

Everywhere around us projections of fear cunningly disguised as love. Professionally produced fashion billboards create subconscious fear in normal women everywhere of body image yet appear innocent? even helpful? News reporting details nightly a million titbits of fear disguised as cautionary information however what value really is provided by making viewers “fear” something that occurs to .01% of the population or less? TV had / has such potential to educate, inform in true and useful ways however monopoly systems in place prevent even you or I from entertaining thoughts of community based networks. Why is it that, to string RJ45 cable from one house to the next is considered a federal offence?

It’s no wonder we hide initially, however this type of prolonged behaviour results in permanent mental calisthenics of self deceit. What’s does fear really drive in a modern world? Does fear perpetuate notions of individualism? Consumerism, self perpetuating enslavement? Fear surely guides more modern day action than love.

...It’s not however that which it should be ...a fear of the “whole” getting sicker.

This appears too much even for the best of us to fathom or accept with the evidence all around, instead there is perceptive panic the supposed individual may suffer material loss or even temporary loss of comfort, which may indeed be the result of bringing everyone up to standard ...but so what?

Have we become so petty and brainwashed that perceptions of material sacrifice which perhaps mean difference between life or death equate only with unrealistic material suffering and personal loss? That death and suffering is no substitute for a colour TV? When we’ve had more than most ...forever?

Do we think fear is our only buying alternative? That honesty could not be achieved, in advertising for example with rigid legislation in the right area for once, helping people rather than corporate interest? Then ask why? Why that has never occurred, and all other consequences associated with this type of simplicity not being able to be achieved. Then think in relation to balance? We are in a system dependant on fear yet we call it trust. Trust in the economic system for example is based on massive fear of bond and stock market failure.

...it’s a stilted position of circular dependence on lie and deceit of self

The thing is that accepting responsibility is empowering. No longer do you blame others, understanding and awareness result from situations previously thought incomprehensible. It’s a power of the self, something tangible to change.

...once you take holistic responsibility for your own actions ...you are in charge of “your” destiny and can see with some clarity how personal action affects others despite distance or perceived separateness.

Notions of “the world will stop” if we suddenly cease consumerism is indicative of a set up to perpetuate exactly such behaviour and thought by those with capital. Watch the 1948 TV advertisement produced in the US on “capitalism”.

watch the film

Ask, are any characters in it a reflection of your personal politics or viewpoints? Which character are you? Personally, I see typecasts formed of manipulation such as this all around. Have we created a system which in fact imprisons and entraps via such beliefs and uses “fear” as primary weapon? Is concrete love? are trees love? What are most of us surrounded by? What happens ecologically and economically as a result of our purchase? purchases? do we take personal responsibility in actuality or conclude in deceptive state?

For me to suggesting there is balance externally with all information gained over even this much of a lifetime world be presumptuous at best, for I feel let alone contemplate the opposite. It would mean not having ability to be truthful of spirit or goodness within. Amazon shamanic tribes for instance, oil companies and logging destroying land, forest, habitat, wildlife, etc; displacing natural communities who make conscience based decisions to not be included in our western way of life, are repressed and have generations of land taken from under them aside from human rights abuse. Who uses the oil? the wood? Are they “western” corporations based on Capitalism, raping the natural lands of native inhabitants? Does the country we live in trade with that corporation or government in any way supporting economic stability? Are we not all “westerners”? joined at the hip in a philosophy of consumerism and economic whoopdie-doo? Does Capitalism even matter anymore with the decisive element of all major governments financial not people?

...this is what fear2love is about for me, breaking free of the deception to self, of this global affliction.

How “would” this misery be facilitated without “our” unconscious support? Ultimately who buys the stuff or prospers from this interlinked system of economics? Tibet? I think ...the destruction of yet another self sufficient community practicing love rather than fear? For material wealth and resources? Fear? We’re not personally responsible? Not supporting governments based on tyranny? No products from China in every home? All of us protesting fiercely against these atrocities?

Africa? More effort is expended preventing overpopulation than ever feeding a populous. Condoms the biggest donation rather than food? ...seriously? happy? in deluded oblivion?

I feel we sit back and fabricate intelligent rationalisations for why “we” don’t have to do anything about these situations and indeed, why we have no responsibility towards them ...so “we can have nothing” to do with them. Long as we’ve got our couch, it’s all ok.

...but one must ask, is it? r, r, r ...reeeeally???

In short (HA!), the only way to ensure we are not harming others is with adequate information about purchasing and employment decisions ...using love; but it seems we always try to destroy love, Bill Hicks was right - “notice how we always kill those people”. It is my belief that we are threatened by notions of love in a materialistic civilisation (will expound on this greatly in a future post), we don’t understand its ramifications fully yet, become fearful and strike through whatever means in relief of our own inner conflict; however the concept should be abstract to say the least. For instance, why would anyone want to stop someone preaching love, brand them? If preaching fear I could fathom but what of love? Is there or could there ever be too much? After all, is it not a great deal easier to tune out to, than fear? What lasting effect does each have?

and does information of love hurt like fear and hatred? If so, do we as a species need to ask why? Why we fear love? Why are we afraid of new truths which don’t fit with oblivious, comfortably entertained world views? Or does it jeopardise this delusion of non-responsibility and therein lies the real problem?

Do we really believe that if everything was taken away from us tomorrow, with no TV, magazines or microwave ...that we would stop being creative, productive, stop communicating, stop feeding ourselves or stop needing to love and be loved? isn’t it the opposite and we’d be more or just as creative? just as inclined to these activities without all the distraction and inhibitors of a greed and fear based model?

I think that love is the drug, and while there may be no such thing as “perfect love” or “perfect justice” I feel it is possible to have true external balance ...if we can only break down these delusions, see reality and the imbalance we create.

Southpark summed up this delusional conundrum in an episode recently which is both profound, comical and centres around, guess who?...Cartman! How fitting a delusional if ever there was one.

...I won’t put it in, this post is already too long 8)

Saddest thing is at the extremities of this delusional behaviour are people like Cartman, who really do believe their fabrications and are unable to stand back seeing anything clearly ...representing exactly what is happening today. I reason, that’s why the world is the way it is ...because of those taking this delusion too far; fearful, deluded, greedy humans with no forethought to really sacrifice, anything, for the good of anyone else, but rather foster a continual desire for need of more ...everything ...and blame all else ...but themselves.

...perhaps that’s a little harsh? ...we think?

It’s not for success or profit and not about personal benefit ...my path goes “this way” irrespective, and whatever happens on that path ...happens. It’s not about being right or being better, but merely a personal observation which applies to me as to anyone else; about attempting to think equally or correctly, using reality rather than pretence. It’s about knowing and being true rather than illusion and it’s about being truthfully happy. It’s not about feigning happiness through ignorance. Do we really believe “happy” humans would create a civilisation such as this? ...partially happy? ...deluded happy?

...it’s about you ...we ...us; for I am you ...we are one

Unfortunately today I can distinguish no “real” global balance, only perception of such, denial and a potential balance of self. Balance externally is something we perhaps should all be striving to attain through love, awareness and compassion ...by looking internally or at least ...looking around. The last justification or great reinforcer of this denial we as a species need to perpetuate is “nobody does nothing for nothing”. Those screaming it in one form or another are all around, it’s used as ultimate justification for their fears, but is incorrect.

...look around, really look. Without fear, through practice of loving kindness, there is no desire or need in people for such things as power, greed or violence of any kind; they are merely victims or survivors of others perpetrating it.

Me, me , me, me, me! ...where is the “us”? Whacked an instant poem up on Twitter the other day as it came to me in a flash, while trying to think of some way to thank the many people looking upon the journey. Seems fitting here...

  • “there’s not enough money in existence,
  • nor should there be,
  • that I could forget the you, we or us
  • ...of me”

...there is no separateness, only an illusion of separation caused by fear; perceptions of separation are in fact subtle differences, in parts making a whole

Note: There is an underlying concept at work here which I will describe (among other things) in a following post, that of “no good is possible without suffering”. It does not suggest however as I will elaborate that we should not attempt “good” but merely is that which via process has inevitability of suffering. Notions I will endeavour impart are an extension of and support ramblings here and attempt to clamber actual crux of issue at hand ...“why we have never been able to turn fully from a path of fear and enslavement? Stay tuned...

fear2love ...getting us thinking despite it stinking

No comments:

Post a Comment